


Crossing The Line

by tornyourdress



Category: Have I Got News For You RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornyourdress/pseuds/tornyourdress
Summary: When did it stop becoming a joke, and turn into something real?
Relationships: Ian Hislop/Paul Merton
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Crossing The Line

He actually can’t remember when it stopped being a joke. That’s the crazy thing. He can’t remember. He can’t pin a date on it, can’t say definitively that they crossed the line from casual banter to something more at any particular point in time. It just happened, slowly, subtly, without him noticing. It’s only now, looking back, that he realises that things did change at some point, but when that point was he has no idea.

It’s not quite as easy as a first kiss, because the first kiss came long after it stopped being a joke. The first kiss was long overdue. He remembers that, all right, but he knows things changed long before then. Gazes that were held for longer than they had been before, and hidden meanings in the words that were spoken, and the thought of _them_ wasn’t an outlandish concept anymore but an actual possibility, and then a probability, and then a definite outcome. 

He can’t remember. Maybe because there was a part of him that wanted this to happen from the very beginning, the same part of him that felt a little too hurt when Paul got restless and left for a while. That was before, then. Or had it already started then? He isn’t sure. The past is blurry, and when he tries to piece it all together he can’t decide when it all began, when it stopped being a joke and when it started being real.

***

He remembers when it stopped being a joke. He can’t remember the exact date, but that moment, that one moment, is as clear as crystal for him. He looked over at Ian, an ordinary everyday glance in his direction, and he realised. Just like that. An epiphany, one that initially shocked him because Ian was the last person in the world he ever thought he’d be interested in. He was used to having fantasies about unlikely people – he’d thought about Angus once or twice, no big deal, it didn’t necessarily mean anything, more of a mild curiosity – but never Ian. 

The first kiss was long overdue. He is used to keeping a straight face but that memory can still make him smile, the initial nervousness on both their parts followed by a sense of inevitability. It was going to happen. It had to happen, and there was no way around that, and no real reason, morals aside, why not to let it happen. They both wanted it. 

He sometimes wonders how long it had been going on without him realising it, until that single flash of insight changed everything. He wonders whether he always wanted something to happen, or if it was just a sudden craving that has managed to last for years. He’s not sure if it’s important or not. It doesn’t really matter now, after the line has been crossed and the origin point is moving further and further into the past.


End file.
